Friday, December 19, 2014

12 Days of Anime Christmas - Day Seven



Day Seven- Sword Art Fucking Online 2

There are shows that I end up adoring throughout a year. Shows that I think back fondly to and even sometimes grow from watching. Then there are shows that I watch but forget about once they are done. Shows that aren’t bad, but are at the end of the day forgettable, that I enjoy watching but don’t really feel like I have to watch again. And then there are shows that are just plain bad. They are just plain awful shows, that most of the time I watch the first episode of and then I don’t watch the rest, usually forgetting about it. But once in a while, there is a show that I honestly just hate. A show that is just disgusting and annoying and hateful. And I watch that show. I hate watch that show. I sit through every episode and just feel the hate flow through me. And for the past six months, that show has been Sword Art Online 2.

So this is going to be a bit different from the usual 12 days thing I’ve been doing. Instead of trying to define my experience with the show or look inwardly for a meaning message at the end of the day from a show, I am going to just complain. I hate this show, and here is all my complaints with the show. Well, at least all the ones I can think of off the top of my head. For instance, why the hell does Kirito use a fucking sword in a gun based game? Why did they even have a sword, much less a fucking lightsaber. Kirito’s whole character is a 12 year old’s fantasy of the cool character. He wears black and dual wields swords and he is too perfect, his only crime is that he is the best at everything. He is a poorly done fantasy. He is a shitty character. He is “perfect” and as such he is boring as hell. The whole Gun Gaia online thing could have been a perfect chance to give this stupid character some humanity. By putting him in this new environment and forcing him to learn a whole new way of combat, we could watch him struggle and grow and maybe become an actual character. But no, he finds a fucking sword and becomes a fucking Jedi, because he wasn’t perfect enough. I honestly hate Kirito. At every chance they have to make him the hero. No one is allowed to save the day except Kirito. When the gun girl is about to get raped by the creepy asshole beta as fuck murderer, she doesn’t save herself, which would have been an amazing cap to her character growth over the past arc, but instead Kirito needs to come in and save the day. In Asuna’s arc, the only arc that actually explores a character whose best trait so far was that she was the most disposable female character of all the disposable female characters, Kirito has to come to save the day twice. First when she and her new friends are being attacked by a large party of dudes, where he wasn’t in the scene at all, he just jumps out of nowhere and beats the shit out of a hundred dudes. The second time is when the sick little girl who can’t leave the comfort of her virtual reality console wants to go to school for the first time. It is Kirito who uses his invention to give the girl a view point into the world. This would have been fine if anyone else came up with the idea. It should have been Asuna, as it was her fucking arc. But no, Kirito comes to the rescue once again. It is so boring that it kills the show. Well, more so than anything else that kills the show. And let’s talk about the little girl in this final arc. Her whole thing is that she is dying, and she is part of an experiment with the virtual reality technology of the shows universe. She can live a full physical life in the world of games and such while in the real world she doesn’t have to deal with the pain of dying. It is an amazing concept that anywhere else would be amazing. But of course this is Sword Art Online. So, what disease would this little girl have? The correct answer should be ALS. ALS slowly destroys the neurons in the body so that you can’t move, starting from the limbs, and gets to a point where you can’t even move your face or talk. It eventually paralyzes your lungs and you suffocate to death. It is a disease without a cure. In the SAO world, where they can basically take out your mind and put it in a virtual world, and separate the mind from the body, the technology that is used for games can be used to give people in this awful situation a full and happy life before they finally die. But the little dying girl doesn’t have ASL. She has AIDS. They gave the little girl AIDS. Though a botched blood transfusion at that. That almost never happens anymore in the real world. It’s the future in this show, so it should never happen. If it was any other disease, they could have pulled off this little story, but they had to pick AIDS? Dear lord I hate this show. Thank god it’s the last episode tomorrow. 

I fucking hate Sword Art Online. It is a show where potential is killed. It is a show where good ideas go to die. It is a terrible show. Let’s hope tomorrows post isn’t as filled with bile as todays is. So until next time, keep on watching.

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